Woman Gunned Down In Her Own Home

32 year old Samantha Scott was found dead today in her home on Excelsior Avenue in Schmiddletown NY, gunned down in an apparent murder. Invefatal-shooting-generic-night-graphic-6000857-27474-ver10-640-480jpg-e1b5b3aa47fe4cc7stigators withheld comment as to possible motivations for the crime as it is an ongoing investigation.

Shots were reported by neighbors at 12:15pm and police were on the scene by 12:20. Samantha was pronounced dead on arrival.

Anyone with any leads are encouraged to contact the Schmiddletown police at 845-867-5309.



Governor Schmandrew Schmomo Killed In Bombing

The Governor has been the apparent fourth victim of the Schmiddletown Bombarsonist according to investigators who confirmed there was a high likelihood that this bombing was from the same attacker.

“There is evidence we are not at privilege to share, but we will say that it makes it an almost certainty that this bombing was from the Schmiddletown Bombarsonist”

The pipe bomb was delivered to his office and the detonation instantly killed the Governor. Investigators claim to have a lead on a suspect and are pursuing any tips that are reported. Investigators were asked how many more victims they expect, to which they responded;

“Hopefully none. It’s unclear how far the Bombarsonist is going to take this or how many targets they have in mind. Anyone who would take it as far as they have can be unpredictable. We do have a pretty solid lead and we will hopefully have a suspect in custody soon and bring peace to our community. The silver lining to all the attacks is that we get more and more evidence each time, and at this point we are confident we will be able to make an arrest and get a conviction.”

Another Bombing Victim; Owen Paddie

Another victim has been claimed by the Schmiddletown Bombarsonist, a nickname created by the people of Schmiddletown, bringing the total death toll to three. Owen Paddie, manager of Firstuni Corporation, was killed by a pipe bomb planted in his corporate mailbox. The bomb detonated upon opening of the mailbox. Investigators have refrained from releasing anymore comment or details surrounding the case, leaving more people to speculate as to the possible linkage between the three companies and the recent attacks against their buildings and personnel.

Researchers here at Schmiddletown Times have recently made a possible connection to a plausible motivation for the attacks. Months ago we reported on these three companies environmental contamination issues, the lack of accountability and their possible role in the recent uptick in leukemia rates for the citizens surrounding their factories. A lack of action at both the local and state level may have inspired a local citizen to take action against these corporations and the people involved for the lack of justice. Anyone with information pertaining to someone who may have a personal vendetta against these businesses are urged to contact the police with tips: 845-867-5309

The police are uncertain if the bombarsonist is finished with their attacks.

William Rodriguez Murdered By Serial Bomber

William Rodriquez, owner and operator of R.W. Decency was murdered by a pipe-bomb left in a package on his doorstep today. The package had only his name on it and he appears to be the second victim in a serial bomber’s killing spree. Details about the construction of the bomb have been withheld by investigators for fear of copy-cat bombers. When asked about the link between the recent bombings and arson, investigators commented:

“It is safe to say that all of these events are linked together but it is unclear if it is a single person acting individually or a group of people responsible. We ask that people keep their eyes open and if they see something, to say something. The bomber isn’t done yet, though it is unclear who the next target is. The general population does not need to fear, however, as there seems to be a specific motivation to the attacks.”

We encourage our readers to remain vigilant and to be cautious.

Valentines Day Bombing

Beatrice Goody, owner and operator of Bai Corporation, was murdered today. A bouquet of flowers was left on her doorstep with a pipe bomb placed inside of it. She was killed instantly. Earlier this month Bai Corporation’s factory was burned down in an apparent arson attack and it is presumed that these two incidents are related, despite the lack of comment by investigators. When asked if we can expect more bombings, investigators commented:

“If this is a serial attacker, we can expect there to be more bombings but it doesnt seem that the public at large is at risk. So far only specific targets have been attacked and done so in a precise manner. If this is a serial attacker, it seems personal and the public should have nothing to fear.”

Despite this reassurance, Schmiddletownites seem scared.

“I mean, buildings are burning down, people are getting blown up, its pretty scary. How do I know if I’m a target or not?” Joe Schmoe, a local resident pleads.