The New York Schmangers had a tough outing tonight against the New Jersey Schmevils, and were defeated 5-2 in the last meeting of the season between these two teams. The Schmangers had a tremendous start following the opening faceoff, and constantly pressured the Schmevils in the offensive zone with a strong forecheck. Unfortunately, they weren’t able to generate many high quality scoring chances, and allowed the Schmevils to survive the early attack. The Schmevils would come back to win it in a 5-2 victory.
The Schmangers win over the 720nm Wings last night in a suspenseful game that went to 3 vs. 3 overtime. The game was scoreless during regulation, with a goal being called off due to goalie interference. Fans were outraged that the Schmangers werent awarded the goal because their skater was outside of the goalie crease.
In an attempt to effectively advertise their new product, Schmountain Dew aired a disturbing commercial during the Schuper Bowl featuring an abomination of genetic engineering. Schmountain Dew spokespeople had the following comment:
“We were looking to embody the essence of our new product, which is the combination of 3 things. Se we looked to our scientists to create a living mascot for our product. Our CEO’s determined that fusing the three cutest parts of the 3 cutests things they could think of should go over well with the viewers and it would be named ‘Cliff’. Sadly, the combination of a cute puppy face, monkey’s body and baby’s bottom did not have the synergistic effect we were looking for.”
Viewers of the Schuper Bowl tweeted the following:
“There are some horrific images that you will never be able to un-see and will haunt your dreams. This is one of them.”
After airing of the commercial and seeing the public response to their newest ad campaign, ‘Cliff’ was promptly terminated as were the masterminds behind this atrocious crime against humanity.