A Hidden Gem: Schtaco Factory

Looking for a great meal for under $10? Like Mexican food? Go down to the Schtaco Factory on Schnorth street and order the Mexican Gyro. This 12″ sandwich is both delicious and filling.


Mascot Tryouts To Be Held

The Schmiddletown Schmiddies are looking for a replacement to wear the bear suit to sporting activities. Applicants must have school spirit, pep, mastered the art of jazz hands and be immune to demonic posession. All of those interested please show up to the first round of auditions at the Schmiddletown High school gym. A replacement is needed for next weeks basketball game, so come on down! .


Go Schmiddies!

The Schmiddletown high school basketball team defeated the Schpine Bushmen last night in a 73-60 victory. Fans say it was a very entertaining game. During halftime the two mascots faced off in a cage match. The Schmiddletown bear disemboweled the Bushman and is likely to face charges.

‘I dont know what came over me. I think it was the suit, its possessed or something. It felt like something had taken over me and before i knew it, i was hunched over the corpse of the bushman with his entrails in my hands’ said mascot Schnick Schmulmone from behind the bars of the local jail. Bail has been set at one million and six dollars.

The Schmiddletown basketball will hopefully continue their winning streak in their upcoming game against Green Schtech.